When you've said Heineken, you've said it all.

a mediocre website created by a substandard bicyclist

Team Francis completes the inaugural Tour de Kota

Read Michael's Triple Bypass ride report.

Like Lonnie, pictured above, we're just about having fun. Team Francis is another one of those RAGBRAI stories about friends riding their bikes. So if you don't like our style - lighten up. You don't want to end up on THE LIST.

Mark's new Serotta CSi is built! Check out the pictures of the build.

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The details of my life are quite inconsequential . . . My father was a relentlessly self-improving boulangerie owner from Belgium with low-grade narcolepsy and a penchant for buggery. My mother was a 15 year old French prostitute named Chloe with webbed feet. My father would womanize, he would drink, he would make outrageous claims, like he invented the question mark. Sometimes, he would accuse chestnuts of being lazy. The sort of general malaise that only the genius possess and the insane lament. My childhood was typical: summers in Rangoon, luge lessons. In the spring, we'd make meat helmets. When I was insolent, I was placed in a burlap bag and beaten with reeds. Pretty standard, really.

---Dr. Evil in Austin Powers: International Man of Mystery